In and out of hiatus.

KTV with my girls long long ago!

JO <3

The last photo I have with her before she cut her hair.

Ern and CX’s bundle of joy – Low Jing Xuan Alicia

For a whole long period of time I’ve decided that I wanted to leave this blog behind. Can’t bear to delete the whole blog away because it contains too much memories. Both happy and sad — They made me who I am today. But, here I am back, attempting to blog something. Only because attachment is sooooooooooo boring.

Oh how I wish I could be in the class with the kids, teaching/setting up learning corners/feeding them/ singing songs/blah blah blah. But, because we’re doing our leadership module, we are stuck in the office, with our laptops, discussing our supervision materials, parenting workshop, planning staff meetings. And because our mentor decided that it’d be a chore to do that all day long, she gave us the permission to work on our other assignments as well. So yes, thanks to a flexible and nice mentor, I’ve managed to complete DFCP’s assignment. I know I am supposed to start on OB-HRM and CD. Butttttttt. Yes, but. I think I’d fail as a supervisor. Sigh.

On a happier note, Shihui and Evania are my attachment mates again this sem. (: And boy, I’m glad to have them. The nonsense we talk,  the random jokes we make, the things we laugh about, the food we eat. LOL, priceless. The centre’s food is terrible, so we decided to pot luck today

Shihui brought rice and drinks

Evania brought chicken cutlets, scrambled eggs and sausages

And I brought chicken wings, sunny side up, fish fillet.

Feels like a feast. Heh. Beat’s the centre’s horrible pasta ANYTIME. Think one day when we are all bored/lazy to cook/blahblahblah, we’ll be having cup noodles. Still better than pasta sauce that has carrots, peas & corns + 2 table spoon of tomato sauce and a whole tub of water.

I wish Ngee Ann would stop wasting our time, and just let us go home and work on our other assignments or even our FP stuff. Things that we need to do don’t even have to be done here.

Enough about attachment. My memory has been so bad lately, that I rely on my planner to remember what I’ve done just yesterday, and what is going on even tomorrow. So I’ve decided, today’s post shall be lengthy. Cause should I ever lose my planner, I’d have my blog to rely on. (:

Yesterday was a blast with my favourite people

Right after class, Jo and I wanted KOI. (What’s new right) So as we were heading to Clementi to meet Lala who ended early, the feeling of K kicked in. Changed route, and headed to boon lay instead. Lunched at Din tai fung while lala lunched with her classmates. Then walking walking walking walking (I’m singing the kiddo song mentally) to Jurong Safra, Kbox Sang our hearts, lungs, stomachs out. Then Lala and I cabbed down to Ikea to meet the rest of the girls for dinner.

A night where we crowned Shir as stmargs pride. Laughed like some donkeys, played around with the puppets available, caused the whole Ikea to stare at us, then everyone headed home, while I, deligently headed back to Clementi to meet Jo for KOI and some cute boy goodness. But he wasn’t there. Upset. Accompanied Jo while she had her dinner, only to receive a message from Weishun that he bumped into cuteboy at JP. ))))): Took a lot of discipline to not go all the way down to Boon lay again! Sigh. We’re hopeless fangirls of someone who isn’t even a celebrity.

Okay, I can’t blabber any more nonsense. So I shall stop here, and start counting down to 6.30pm. That’s another 8 hours. OMGGGGGGGGGGG

deep inside

I know these are people I love with all my heart.

I was telling boyfriend today that I was looking through the pictures that all of us took together over the past few years and it scares me when I see how much Gab and him has grown up. They used to reallyyyyyyyy look like small boys. Now they look young adult-ish. Hahahha. Actually all of us look different. They boys and Shir especially. Hahaah.

I love love love my lovelies.

Those were the times.

I took the time to read through my posts just a moment ago. Though not all, at least those of last year’s. I miss the times where I meet my lovelies so often, where we go to random places so often, that we have so many pictures I could blog about. Ever since the spilt of services, since nath’s enlistment, since the girls going into poly, we hang out less. We talk less. And after awhile, it seems as though we know about each other less. It pains my heart as I think about the fear of losing them as my confidants. We’re still good friends. Closer than I am to anyone else from Stmargs other than Aly, but it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

I’m afraid of changes. Always had, and probably always will.

I’m gonna force some of them to take picture tomorrow. HAhaHAH. So at least I have something to look at and feel happy about.

Just words.

Typed a whole long blog post, before hitting “command” + “A” then “delete”.

Somehow after writing those words, I didn’t feel comfortable hitting “Publish” and allow the world to see it. ‘The more you show, the more you are opened to critique’ was the statement that echoed in my head.

I guess as I grow older, I’ve learned to keep certain frustrations and uncertainties unsaid. At the end of the day, I chose to lift it up to the Lord because I know He is in control.

A little light

Yes, holidays have started and I am rotting my butt off at home. Trying to refrain from going out so I can save a bit of money. But, staying at home is such a pain. I’m running out of shows to watch. That sucks. And, receiving a call from Odyssey, saying that they have hired new staff (permanent) thus not needing us sucks EVEN MORE.

I. NEED. A. JOB. BADLY.

That said, I need a job. Otherwise I can only DREAM about going to Taiwan next year. Yes, dream. And for me, dreams usually don’t come true. Oh wells.

On a happier and more excited note, September is filled with awesome stuff
Diving with Joanna and her friends & Shui
Driving.
KL/Malacca school trip. (With Renee, Carina, Affy, Widad, and other ECH students – according to Alton, Rojak clique. LOL)
2AM show.

Just the thought of all these makes me excited. ^^
BUT. Idk how I’m gonna afford all of those. Sigh. Life. What to do without money.

Can we sell some fat for money? If there’s Hair For Hope, can we have a Fat For Hope also?

Sigh. Think I’m going bongek.

Nothing better

Feeling unwell yet unable to sleep. Nothing can make me feel better. Until I found videos of JYP Nation’s performance in Japan. The 4 Giants from JYP Nation with MJ’s dance. Cute max!

Then, Tell Me by Wondergirls and 2AM. With Kwon and Changmin being their usual crazy selves. And Ongong finally breaking out of his shyness. SOOOO CUTEEEEEE

Lost, but found.

Lost Trailer from Vincent Yee on Vimeo.

Find your way down to SJCp on the 13 and 14th of the month to join us

Quality over quantity

i may not look as good as you.
I definitely don’t have a good figure like yours.
I probably don’t have as much guys surrounding me like you do.
I might not be as liked by the public like you are.

But I have quality friends who would always stand by me when I need.
I have friends who love me for who I am.
I have godparents who love me like my parents do.
I have friends who know exactly how I feel even if I don’t speak a single word.
I have a sister who loves me more than she loves anyone else in the world.
I have people like Imes lala ally Jo shimin Alyss aimin shir cat grace ter eueu hc.

So why do you want to compare yourself with me? You pick the criteria to compare. You definitely win, or so you say. I might not think I lost to you. Similarly. All that I’ve said above.. You probably think you have too. I don’t say you do not. But what I’m saying is that these are what I know I have. And God has blessed me with. For that I’m contented. if you think I’m not as good as you, then why compare with me? Just to make yourself feel good? Compare with someone better. Otherwise how are you going to improve? 是时候长大了.

even in difficult times, I praise You.

A Korean worship song Jayesslee presented in CHC after sharing their testimony.The lyrics of the song went,
Lord here I am
My Heart my Body
I give it to you
Use me as I am
Hallelujah

Somehow the song brought tears to Jo and my eyes when we first heard it.

Then they presented ‘What faith can do.’

And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.
- Luke 17:6

That’s what faith can do.

To look at things from another perspective.

Today I read someone’s blog post;

‘If God is fair, then everyone would have looked the same.’

Honestly, I disagree with that statement. I’m am here to talk about my opinion on the above statement. I am not saying that it is wrong for anyone to think that way, but I am asking, in whose terms of fairness are we talking about when that statement was made? You can disagree with that I have to say, but I am simply saying what I need to say because I know my God is fair and just.

To quote, “Fairness is not everyone getting the same thing, but everyone getting what they need.” – (Brinkman, 2011) http://www.emporiagazette.com/news/2011/mar/31/fairness-brinkman/

Simple as that. It doesn’t necessarily mean that God isn’t fair just because everyone looks differently. He is fair in His own ways. We get what we need.

Look at it from another perspective. Why do we all have different looks? Why do we own different things? Why do we come from different families? Is it because God isn’t fair? That’s not true. God gives us what He thinks is the best for us, in our situation, with our way of thinking.

Everyone can be given the same thing. But I am sure we all have different outcomes. For example, I can give 10 people an egg each, and ask them to cook it. But I am sure we have different kinds of eggs at the end of the day. Scrambled, soft boil, hard boil, omelets, sunny side up, etc etc. Even if we were to ask everyone to cook scrambled eggs, the taste and texture would be different. And that is the uniqueness of humans. God gave us the freedom to think. And because we have the freedom to think, we think differently. Is this then unfair? Should God have made us the same way? Exactly the same? With the same looks, and the same thinking? Where’s the fun of life then? Do you want to live that way, if you see 100 other of yourself walking around?

So can we say that God isn’t fair just because we look different?
I beg to differ.

Just some food for thought

God loves you the way you are because you’re His wonderful creation. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And because He loves us all the same, no less or more than He loves the person next to you, I would like to say, my God is fair.